Part 189: Saturday night, 10pm 14th May 66

Can hardly realise have been back to school in the old train-train – and living only to finish the next 9½ working days, when there will be a week’s mid-term break.

Have concocted a mish-mash for the “Jewish Humour” thing. Mum did have Royte Pomerantzen  [YIDDISH HUMOUR Royte Pomerantsen, or How to Laugh in Yiddish ed. I Olsvanger, review published in J.C. 11/03/1966], although she had insisted she hadn’t. I had ordered a copy, meanwhile, from Foyles, but have received nothing from them.

I flogged a number of review-copy book, incidentally, to Foyles, for £2, for which I got from them a new Cassell’s French-English, English-French dictionary, 36/-. One of the books I flogged was Chaim Bermant’s Jericho Sleep Alone, which might have helped me in my humour article. Some time ago I had flogged – to Sulzbacher – a review copy of a book by one Salcia Landmann on Der Jüdische Witze, in which she said Anglo-Jewry had not evolved any Jewish humour – this too might have come in useful. I asked Sulzbacher if he still had this book, and he sent me a paper-back by her – Jüdische Anekdoten – which I have been able to make use of.

Frankel [Editor of Jewish Chronicle] has given me an idea. If he accepts my article, I think I will try to keep one notebook like this going to provide materila for some such articles as Anglo-Jewish humourists, Anglo-Jewish humour and Yiddish humour. Incidentally, Frankel has technically commissioned my article, but muggins-like, I suppose, I told him not to worry if he couldn’t use it – to regard it as a submission.

To shool this morning with Philip and Susannah. Got off on the wrong foot because, as always, had gone to bed after midnight last night, which would not matter if the kids would let us sleep till nine, but they won’t. Had told Edith I wanted the boys to go to Bnei Akiva in the afternoon. One Stanley Lerner – of the “Group” [ a social gathering for synagogue members] – is trying to organise this. Seems tragic – about only eight or ten kids go. Should have thought that many parents would have been glad, like me, to get rid of the kids for a couple of hours, though against this has to be balanced the inconvenience of taking them and collecting them.

E. had agreed to take them – though it was obviouse she was unwilling, we had Alf & Doreen coming. Susannah started her screaming – I want-to-be-in-on-this act, and, as I feared, E. was not ready to take them until 2.45, when D & A turned up with Helen. She took them along, and then came back with a their-Aunty-Doreen-doesn’t-ge-a-chanc-to-see-them line – so I had to take them along. Well, well.

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Part 188: Friday, 22nd April 1966, 6.30pm

Somewhat despondent. Day after birthday. Least said, better. Went last night to see “Beyond the Fringe” at Mayfair Theatre. Small, comfortable theatre, good sophisticated entertainment. Four young men holding stage in series of brilliant sketches.

Have been asked by William Frankel, editor of Jewish Chronicle, to write article on Jewish humour as reflecting social and religious attitudes for magazine called Quest – “for which a fee will be paid”. Can’t think what on earth I would write. Had thought Royte Pomerantzen, a book of Yiddish (in Latin characters) jokes which I reviewed for J.C. could just enable me to get by - but now can’t find the book - hence, largely, the despondency.

It all seems wrong. W.F. writes to me that he “can think of no one better qualified (or words to that effect) to write such an article”; a couple of years ago Vallentine, Mitchell wrote to me as “the only one” who could translate some Yiddish book they wanted translated. I ought to be turning out a steady stream of article, ought always to have some translating in the pipe-line…above all, not dreading – perhaps that’s too strong a word – but facing the return to school with great reluctance.

Perhaps the mood will pass, but am becoming if anything more degenerate. In bed till 10, 10.30am. It’s true I don’t get to bed till 12.30 or 1am but E gets to bed even later, and is up by 8.30. Even when I do get up, tend to doze off after lunch.

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Part 187: Monday, 18th April 1966, 5.10pm

The old, old story; the holiday being frittered away. Have come up into the kids’ bedroom to write this, they’re watching TV below. They are, touch wood, well and full of élan vital, but it’s impossible to get any quiet at all with them in the house – except when they are watching the TV.

Went to a meeting of the Group  [a social gathering for synagogue members] yesterday. A discussion on women as second-class citizens in Traditional Judaism. Anita [Bernstein] did very well in the suffragette position; her opponent was unable to be present but had her paper read for her. There was a certain amount of crisp “Beyond the Fringe” cross-talk. Michael Morris defended the sending of the lulav and the esrog on the grounds that the l & e had an obvious Freudian significance (Jeffrey Lesser, who took us home, said that this was his crack); Jeffrey Lesser, defending (tongue in cheek) the Orthodox laws of taharat mishpachah, referred to Australian aborigines who would not cross a stream during their menstrual period…

Came home just before midnight, went to bed about 00.30, up at 10.30, wrote a weak letter to Yettka, [relative in Israel], went out and bought myself a pair of shoes (99/11, fed up with cheap cheap “Tuff” affairs), siesta after lunch, and that’s how the day goes. Criminal.

Having spent over £320 on the re-decorating, and on electrical work, have now given E. the green light to spend £60 on carpets. Past caring.

Have been pondering for last ten-fifteen minutes what to write, but can’t think of anything. Want to draft some notes for School Journey log books. Hope to get this done to-night, when E. will be at meeting of League of Jewish Women.

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Part 186: Wednesday, 13th April 1966, 9.40pm

Sam 60 to-day. He celebrated by going to the Ear, Nose and Throat Hospital to check whether he had polyps in his nose. I went with him, getting up at 7.30 am to do so, and schlepping Maxie with me to Ambrose Avenue, where Mum had been staying over Pesach.

The doctor said Sam didn’t have polyps, but that he was allergic to colds, and that the Hospital doctor was prescribing a course of treatment which he would communicate to Dr Ross.

Business is once more good – Sam said he had 5,000 bags in the pipe-line, i.e., bags for which he has orrders.

Meno male. It was pretty depressing crawling along to-day; but on reflection, even before his attack he had to walk slowly-slowly. As he himself wrote to Yetka, one prays only that things should not get worse.

He tires easily, but he was supposed to have an angina, anyway, before he went to County Hall, and if he can get through the year with a £10,000 – £12,000 turnover, and can see the kids once a week, it will be enough.

Philip has had an upset tummy to-day. It is difficult to get all three in bed before 9pm these days and asleep before 10pm.

E. has interrupted to bring me coffee. A Suivre.

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Part 185: Monday, 14th March 1966, 17.45.

The result of haste, tiredness are pretty evident in the above [redundant Hebrew letters]. Writing this in kitchen. Susannah has just gone upstairs after grabbing pastilles to take upstairs to Philip and Maxie (“Firmassy”).

Have had the builders in. They have knocked down the wall separating the lounge from the dining room, made serving hatch in kitchen, laid down concrete path. The electrician has put in a porch lamp. Am trying to keep the chassenna [=bill?] down to £300, for which we will have the lounge dining room, hall, staircase and landing re-painted and re-papered, and shelves put up in the two mrooms – in addition to the other work mentioned, But we could easily spend anotherm£500 in getting the exterior and the top floor done properly. Meanwhile, we are confined to the kitchen; the TV is in our bedroom.

More worries about Sam. Business prospects are now grim. G.U.S. have rejected the samples he sent them; and he can’t get travellers for the UK, English trade. This leaves only kenya and Uganda exports.

Went with Sam and Lily, Mum and Edith to shool hall to see Yiddish play in aid of Hebrew classes. The usual simple Grand Palais stuff – phrases like gehaktene tsuriss [“chopped troubles”] brought out with great deliberation to give full effect to their flavour.

I had developed tummy ache, anyway, so wasn’t particularly appreciative; the rush, the tumult with the kids (7.30 curfew enforced in spite of tearful protests from Philip). Phoned Mum to ask her how she had enjoyed it. Had I let her know it was a play she would have given me £5 and told me to get the best seats (I paid 5 x 10/- for tickets, plus 2 x 2/6 for programmes, plus 10/- baby-sitting – £3-5-0).

Ah well, E. is about to give me dinner while the kids, bless ’em, are watching T.V. in comparative peace. Then some bookkeeping – it looks as if there won’t be much more for me to do – see that lunch is ready (I’ve been having Energen rusks – tasteless, hard-boiled egg, cheese – which E. says is responsible for my tummy-ache) polish my shoes, perhaps time for a little read.

This is not life with a capital lammed, but there are millions who would envy me. And – repeat – you are healthy, you have a healthy wife and three healthy children. Repeat, repeat, say again.

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Part 184: Saturday, 19th February 1966, 9.12 pm.

Susannah has had laryngitis – a barking cough and complete listlessness, a pathetic change from her usual full-of-bean-ish self – Maxie has had a “fluey cold” and E. has flu. Dr Covington ordered her to bed this afternoon. I hope she’ll feel fit by Monday morning as I want to keep my no-absence (apart from Jewish festivals) record unblemished. I know I make a fetish of this, but well…

Half-term on Thursday and Friday. Nothing done, except draft exams. Ever since Pirates [of Penzance, school production] was over have felt cold-y myself, weak on pins.

Had pious resolutions of making long, introspective entry & reading some edifying work, but will probably watch TV., many of the programmes on which are certainly no worse than the muck I read.

Shirley Williams said she was conscious of fact one had only one life to live, so if one had a coronary at fifty (she’s 35), it was just too bad. What boot it to repeat – it is slipping underneath my feet, and I can’t do anything about it. Tages Arbeit, Abends Gäste,
Saure Wochen, frohe Feste – yes, but Goethe didn’t have to pacify the kids, wash up, do shopping or contend with far-from-captive audiences of school kids. And if Tages Arbeit, Abends Gäste, when time for study, to write letters (was this part of G’s “Arbeit” ?) and do voluntary (municipal shool/church) work?

If I could only sleep soundly – 7 ¼ hrs. should be enough – bed at 12.30, up at 7.45, if the intervening 7 ¼ hrs. were hours of sleep (after all, I am lucky in not having to leave home before 8.30 a.m.).[unclear Hebrew words]pretty shocking; still after all these years והנה יש לי אישה ושלושה ילדים נחמדים [And here I have a wife and three lovely children]. What do you make of all that H-L [Baudelaire’s hypocrite lecteur]?

Part 183: Monday, 14th February 1966, 21.30 hrs.

Six weeks since last entry. All six weeks nearer to grave. No – cowards do NOT die many times before their death; we all die once only. Philip & Susannah celebrated thier respective birthdays. The kids are in fine fettle. Susannah: I like mine daddy and mine Mummy.

Am just recovering from an abortive cold. Went to hear Frank Davis Sunday before last. He was good: entertaining, thoughtful, had done his homework – not a pompous platitudiniser, as I thought he might be. He himself apologised for the “dissipated air” which he attributed to, or followed on, he said, a meal at his favourite kosher restaurant.

I had to leave early and put myself to bed with whisky and aspros and did in fact hit the hay (ugh!) early every working night last week.

Sam surviving, il vaque à ses affaires, but I ought to get used to the idea that he may go any day. Every time I see a reference to “the remaining killers: cancer, heart disease, bronchitis” it gives me a khlip.

My own heart must be extraordinarily tough to survive some of my classes. It’s a vicious circle. I suppose if I were really on top of my job, had eight hours solid, refreshing sleep every night, could make every lesson interesting, they’d be no disciplinary problems. Ach – I can’t reproduce the sound I’m making – why waste time? Have had a haircut; now for bath (E. is at laundrette), perhaps read.

Maisie (Lily’s sister) is to be married to one David Wray. Sam was the shadchan [matchmaker].She is fiftyish….Sam says he did it because Lily used to weep on Friday nights: poor Maisie. They are to be married March 27th.

Pirates of Penzance [school production] over, T.G. (purely a conventional expression of relief, H.L., [Baudelaire’s hypocrite lecteur] implying no theological commitment whatsoever). About 5-6 Saturdays from 7-10, one Saturday from 2-10, and one from 7-11. However, we discharged our obligations – c’est tout.

Part 182: Monday, 3rd January 1966, 9.45p.m.

Of the agenda listed on p.96 I have done 2) (and taken tape recorder to Wyndsor Recording Co.), 3), 5), and got book-keeping up to date, though a good deal has to be done to get the 64/65 accounts ready for audit. More time-consuming than any of these has been a translation of an article by Aharoni, which he casually asked me if I’d mind doing. Bon prince, I said it would be quite alright, but although it has been interesting it has also been a nuisance. Including the typing, it must have taken me at least fifteen hours, most of the time against a background of yelling, jumping, fighting, whining from the trio and their sorely tried Mum.

Took Susannah to Sam & Lily yesterday morning…. Sam showed me draft of Mum’s new will, and her securities. I asked Sam how Mum lived – he said she had £100 in the house, and for the rest managed on her national assistance (about £4 a week, I think) and the rent she gets from the Blatts (about £2-10-0 a week – which just covers the rates).

Under her new will she settles her half share in 58 Moresby Road on the kids when they reach the age of 21. Sam says he too wants to settle his half share in 58 Moresby Road on the kids. Under Mum’s old will, she divided everything between Sam & me; so that I would have got a quarter share of the house. Not really very important.

I told Sam perhaps one ought not to let them have it when they were twenty-one, just like that; they might blow it all – not on riotous living but, I fear, as Sam and I did, through unfortunate marriages. They may not be as unlucky as we were in this respect; on the other hand they may be.

As I told Sam, it wouldn’t worry me if they had to get a divorce – they could be divorced and happily re-married happily by the time they were thirty (not forty-five) as with me – but it would krank [Yinglish, from Yiddish קראַנקהייַט: a sickness] me if their unsuccessful marriage cost them, as it did me, £1500.

Part 181: Saturday, 25th December 1965, 10.25p.m.

.A very brief entry, want to see second instalment of Eugenie Grandet on TV at 10.35. Pain in left shoulder-blade yesterday, quite a definite pain. Gone to-day (except perhaps for a very slight twinge if I think about it, but I didn’t have to think about yesterday’s pain). It’s the schmallippiger Antlitz des Lebens [allusion to Thomas Mann’s “Royal Highness”. The prince’s educator, Doctor Überbein, mentions several times that he saw “life’s narrow-lipped face”] cat playing with the murine Witriol again.

Went to East End, concocted article on Thursday, have just typed it now. Replied yesterday morning to Hugh Stubbs’s  [met at Army training camp 1940] letter of over a year ago. My letter a wretched affair. Not only do I lack the historical and biblical background (H.S. always has the biblical quotation ready, chapter and verse), but I can’t get the flow of language. Well, I said it would be a brief entry.

Part 180: Monday, 20th December 1965, 8.55p.m.

E. had wanted shelf of glass-fronted book-case to put china in. She says she had asked for this on the Friday night and I had agreed. I remember her mentioning it, I had probably nodded out of sheer fatigue, but when she started carrying books out about 10pm on the Friday there was an explosion.

Result – shelf is now being used for crockery, after I had said it had always been a book-case and always would be. The fact is, we do need space for crockery, though the fact is the glass-fronted book-case looks daft with books on two shelves and crockery on the third.

Poor E., she has troubles, nebbich; she came in hakking me a tcheinik with space heaters and I cut her short. If only she would let things rest at least on Friday from the tiome candles are lit until, say, 4pm on the Saturday.

We have capitulated to TV. Stupid of me, I suppose, to be snobby about not having had it hitherto, but it is something else cluttering up our already cluttered-up lounge – and we must get a piano.

J.C. have sent me another book to review, am getting a bit fed up with them. Would feel easier if I had actually written a couple of books myself.

Want to 1) see if I can rectify the Tape Recorder, 2) think up article for J.C. “East-End” supplement (will have actually to go to the East End to recce – I don’t know whether I’ve mentioned this, but their Supplement Editor, one Gewirz, from the States, asked me if I could write on “East End Yiddish”. I said there was no special East End Yiddish, as far as I knew, but perhaps I may be able to do something nostalgic – “How many Miles to Blooms?” is the title I thought of) 3) do review of Roite Pomeranzen [YIDDISH HUMOUR Royte Pomerantsen, or How to Laugh in Yiddish ed. I Olsvanger, review published in J.C. 11/03/1966], 4) do review of latest book, 5) draft letter to parents on school journey, 6) try to get January lesson notes started, 7) do book-keeping, 8) try to get kids at least once during holiday to Museum , etc., etc.

Why am I wasting time?